My Top 10 Hypothetical Mentors


If I had my choice of mentors to guide, teach and offer me regular sage wisdom on life, purpose and general grooming tips, they would be as follows:


  • Nick Offerman
  • Tom Selleck
  • Otto von Bismarck
  • Ron Swanson
  • Alex Trebek
  • Kurt Vonnegut
  • Lando Calrissian
  • Frida Kahlo
  • Burt Reynolds
  • Friedrich Nietzsche


I’m a firm believer that sagaciousness is best obtained from seasoned individuals with husky, opulent, or even mammoth mustaches. It’s the true outward physical manifestation of wisdom and a keen sign of gumption. Mustaches are the one and only physical feature that has linked dictators, ’70s porn stars, artists, potheads, presidents, men and women. Each of these hypothetical mentors would bring with them unique insight, depth and a general profundity to the table.

I do realize that in a certain sense, Nick Offerman and Ron Swanson are the same person, but I’m always a believer in stacking the deck in my favor – especially in hypothetical and nonsensical situations.

To prove my point, enjoy these thought provoking words of wisdom from Nick Offerman/Ron Swanson


Who would you name to your top 10 hypothetical mentors list? 

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